Am I the Only one? why me?

Am i the only one who wants to die and wants to be a vampire im writing this as i cry i wish my family would die to be happy i must have tryed i wish i would die my friends hate me my family hate me i hate me im ugly ginger fat i have to wear stupid gles im alone all alone im scared of the dark forgetful i believe in god but i have sined i plead for forgiveness but i fear god isn't listening i cry as i die inside i cant sleep at night i cant be on time for any thing i cant stand up for myself am i the only one who wants to die? really? am i? do you feel the same as me? all of it alone scared not liking the world wanting to hide and hurt people who annoy me the tinyest bit everyone hates me if you knew me you would to im smart but dumb at the same time is any one the same as me any one feel the same any one ANY ONE ANY ONE!!!!!!! NOOOOOO you don't cause im different i may be better or worse but NO ONE KNOWS no one knows how i feel NO ONE why me why me im sad and scared scream i cry i may seem normal at first but im not. vampire vampire where could you be save me make me happy and perfect show me pain show me love show me immortality show me what im meant to no show me do you believe in vampire? i do a vampire would make me perfect blood death i would be happy AM I THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!! tell me!!!! PLZ